we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize