we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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