Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
