four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
