man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
whose parrot is this?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize