she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
