What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
