How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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