OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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