He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
