After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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