She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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