That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
