i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
