I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
