There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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