It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
