is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My feet surprised me
Randomize
