I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
