Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
