you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
