I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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