i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
