Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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