No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
