My liver just broke up with me...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize