He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
