I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
