and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
