i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize