My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
