The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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