unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
