and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
