windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize