FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Randomize
