He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
honey bunches of taint.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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