At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he was CRYING into my vagina
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
