i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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