So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
