I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
