Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
