I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
