I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
