WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
