Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
