Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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