I should be sponsored by Trojan
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
