I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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