It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
