I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
there is glitter all over my balls
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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