That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
