your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
