The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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