So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
