I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
