And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
