This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Farmville is her only friend.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
