All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize