You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
