I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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