a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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