What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
That reminds me...we need to get swords
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
