Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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