whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
