I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize