Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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