is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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