Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
