theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
